Tips for Navigating Infertility During the Holidays
Nov 25, 2024 | by Donor Nexus
For those facing infertility and undergoing treatments like donor egg IVF, the holidays can bring a whirlwind of emotions. From the joy of gathering with loved ones to the heightened anxiety of navigating inevitable questions about having kids, it’s no wonder this season can feel overwhelming. If you’re currently pursuing IVF with donor eggs or donor embryos, we’ve put together a list of tips to help you enjoy the holidays — including ways to find joy while coping with infertility, processing genetic grief, and managing the donor egg IVF journey.
1. Emotionally Prepare and Set Boundaries
The holidays can amplify feelings of grief, jealousy, or isolation for those struggling with infertility.
It’s perfectly okay to prioritize your mental health during this time, even if it means declining certain holiday events or having tough conversations. Set clear boundaries with family and friends ahead of time if their questions or expectations are causing you stress. A simple, private conversation letting them know you’d prefer to avoid discussing family planning can go a long way.
2. Prepare Answers for Common Questions
Take time before gatherings to decide how you want to respond to comments or questions about starting or expanding your family. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, and a simple response can help you feel more in control.
Here are some options to consider:
Politely deflect: “We’re not sure yet—how’s your holiday going?”
Set limits: “I’d prefer not to discuss this right now.”
Educate and raise awareness (if you feel comfortable): “Actually, 1 in 6 couples face infertility. It’s been a challenging journey, but we’re taking it one step at a time.”
Having these responses ready can help you avoid being caught off guard and ensure you only share what feels right.
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“We are enjoying our baby and we just love him so much!! Thank you again for this amazing gift- I’m so forever grateful. My pregnancy was so wonderful and I am really looking forward to everything… It’s amazing what you do for people. My dreams have come true!”
Many people who ask insensitive questions about having children are coming from a place of curiosity or ignorance, not malice. While their intentions may not align with their impact, choosing to extend grace when possible can bring you peace. Remind yourself that these comments reflect their lack of understanding, not your worth or journey.
4. Prioritize Self-Care
The holiday season can be busy and emotionally draining, making self-care more important than ever.
Carve out time for activities you love—whether that’s reading, going for a walk, or watching your favorite movies.
Practice mindfulness through meditation or journaling.
Set realistic expectations for yourself during holiday events, allowing room to step away when needed.
Above all, remind yourself that this is just one season in your journey. Brighter days are ahead.
5. Seek Connection and Support
The holidays can feel isolating, but connecting with others who understand can make all the difference.