Pen Pals: Letters Between an Intended Parent an Egg Donor Aug 17, 2022 | by Donor Nexus

With anonymous donations, many egg donors are left wondering about the intended parent(s). They often wonder what the intended parents are like, what their story is, and how their embryo transfer went. Once in a while, an intended parent will ask us to share a letter/thank you note with the egg donor.

Intended Parent Writes a Thank You Letter to Egg Donor

An intended parent recently wanted to share more about herself and her journey with her egg donor. Although they never met, the intended mother felt compelled to write the egg donor a thank you letter. The egg donor was touched by the intended mother's kind words so much that she wanted to write back to tell her that she healed from the procedure and wished her the best for a positive pregnancy.

We wish we could share the complete letters but we’ve picked out our favorite parts to share with you.

Heartfelt words from the intended mother:

“I am currently sitting in my hotel room after having a transfer of two female embryos on Sunday, Mother’s Day… what a beautiful gift on such a symbolic day.

I wonder how you are doing and what thoughts are going through your mind. Are you ok? Are you in pain? Have you gone back to work/study?

I couldn’t be happier, this cycle has gone so well and the outcome has exceeded my expectations. The pressure is finally off! There are so many embryos to choose from that if this transfer does not end positively then I will just have to come back and try again… you gave me that, you gave me the relief of not having to worry anymore. Today I feel the freedom of choice and possibility.

I have dreamed of twin girls since I was 12 years old as I have twin sisters that are 6 years older than me. In the last few years, I have thought that dream would never become a reality at my age. And so I have genetically grieved as a donor was my only possibility and yet as I look at your photos there is such a similarity between us. We both have curly hair and blue eyes.

I really want you to know how extraordinarily grateful I am to you for giving me this opportunity to live a dream that was born so long ago. I wish you all the happiness in the world and may one day you have a family of your own and feel the love and excitement motherhood brings.”

Letter from Egg Donor to Intended Parent

The egg donor’s sweet response:

“Thank you so much for the heartfelt letter. I cried when I read it. It makes me so happy that I was able to help you and that you are so thankful! Knowing that I donated my eggs to someone so sweet makes me feel that much better about my decision.

When you said you wanted twins, I thought about my family. My grandma from my mom’s side had a twin sister so they run in my family!

To answer your questions, I am doing fine now. It took a couple of days to recover from the pain but nothing I couldn’t handle! I was off work for 3 days total, including my retrieval day. I was in pain/sore for about a full week. But some rest, a heating pad, and eating protein made me feel much better.

I’ve donated a few other times and only one other IP wrote me a thank you note. You are the first to write me a heartfelt letter and I really appreciate it. It makes me feel really good!

I hope that all goes well with your cycle and that you end up with two beautiful baby girls in 9 months! I am sure they will have our curly hair and blue eyes. I hope that your dream comes true and I wish you all the best.”

Notes like this go a long way for the egg donor. It helps her realize how important her donation is and that she is making an impact on someone’s life. If you are going through an egg donor cycle, we encourage writing your egg donor a thank you note. This simple gesture will make a life-long impression!

Update: In May, the intended mother confirmed pregnancy with twin girls!

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