When a patient finds out they need to use an egg donor to conceive, there are many emotions and overwhelming thoughts that go through one's mind. Finding a starting point can be difficult when you’ve never traveled down this path before. Here are a few things we recommend when you find out you need an egg donor.
It is important to take time to fully process your emotions. If you feel the need to cry, let it out. If you’re angry, find a way to channel it by working out or meditating. Talk to your partner and air your grievances. It’s important to keep the lines of communication open with your partner. Shutting down or isolating yourself will only add to the stress. If things get too difficult, it may be beneficial to see a psychologist who specializes in egg donation. A psychologist who specializes in egg donation can help you and your partner navigate this new territory and help you cope and prepare for the future.
Many patients who are facing infertility feel like they are alone. However, 1 in 8 couples have difficulties getting pregnant1. There is a good chance that you may know someone who has gone through fertility treatment. If you don’t know anyone or you aren’t comfortable sharing this with those close to you, there are online forums specifically for patients who are trying to conceive via egg donation. A few online forums that we recommend joining are Parents Via Egg Donation, RESOLVE, and Baby Center. Forums like these give intended parents the chance to connect with other intended parents to share their stories, experiences, and support.
Once you are ready to begin researching your options, it would be best to meet with an egg donor agency. Many agencies offer fresh egg donor cycles and frozen donor egg cycles. Depending on the type of cycle that is best for you, the agency will help you find a suitable egg donor. When speaking with the agency, be sure to ask questions about their program.
Learn more: The Benefits of Working With an Egg Donor Agency
Once you determine the type of cycle that is best for you, the agency will assist you in finding an egg donor. Typically, patients will want to find an egg donor that is similar to the intended mother. Sometimes, finding the ideal donor can take time so don’t get discouraged if you don’t find an egg donor right away.
We recommend making a list of characteristics and qualities that you are seeking in an egg donor and determining which ones are a “must” and which ones are “icing on the cake”. As you review potential egg donor profiles, notice when you are excited or engaged in what the donor wrote. If you feel a connection to the donor, favorite her profile. If you keep thinking about that donor while you review other candidates, tell your case manager and ensure that the donor is available.
If she is and you’re ready to move forward, we recommend doing so swiftly so you don’t miss out on the opportunity to cycle with your ideal donor.
After you’ve designated your egg donor and fertility clinic, it’s time to prep for the cycle. At this time, your clinic coordinator will be overseeing your care as well as the donors. It’s important to do what you can to ease your stress during this time. As well as find a little hope knowing that this cycle could bring you the baby you’ve been dreaming about!