The majority of our egg donor cycles are anonymous, but from time to time, we will have a couple or individual who would like the opportunity to meet their egg donor. We are always excited to facilitate a meeting; however, it comes with some angst as well. What if the Intended Parent(s) love the donor on paper but don’t connect with her in the same in person? What if the donor says something the Intended Parent(s) do not agree with? What if the donor no longer wants to donate after the meeting? This meeting could sabotage a cycle but it can also bring great contentment for both parties.
This week we had the privilege of facilitating a video meeting for a set of Intended Parents and their egg donor. At the beginning of the call, the Intended Mother shared a brief background with the donor. She told the story of how she and her husband met, what type of careers they held and how their journey led them to egg donation. The Intended Mother started to tear up as she was talking.
She said that at first it was hard to comprehend giving up having a genetically related child, but after reading the egg donors’ profile, she felt a strong connection and felt at ease with their decision.
Through teary eyes, the Intended Mother smiled and expressed her appreciation to the donor. Because of this gift they have the opportunity to have a child they had been dreaming about for years. The donor told them how lucky she felt to be chosen to be their egg donor. The donor admitted that the compensation was the main reason she became an egg donor but after her first cycle and learning that her donation resulted in a pregnancy, it made the donor realize that egg donation is about so much more than just the money.
The intended parents asked the donor how she felt about knowing that her genetic offspring was somewhere in the world. The donor shared her feelings and said that even though it may be her genetics that she is not attached to the offspring. She mentioned that she wished the offspring well and would think of the families she has donated to from time to time.
They even sympathized over the rigorous process of injections and commended the donor for doing the injections by herself. As the conversation progressed, the donor learned that the Intended Mother did a lot of the same extra curricular activities in high school and had many similar personality traits.
As our meeting came to an end, you could tell that neither party wanted to stop talking. The Intended Parents expressed how they will be forever grateful for this gift no matter the outcome. The donor wished them well and waved good-bye. Immediately after the call, both the Intended parents and the egg donor contacted us.
The Intended Parents said she’s perfect and that they couldn’t wait to start the cycle. The donor said the Intended Parents were wonderful and that she was really happy to know that her eggs were going to be donated to such a loving couple.
Without this call, the Intended Parents may have always wondered if information on the profile was a true reflection of their donor. Being apart of the call left us feeling elated. The world of fertility isn’t always easy but it is moments like this that we are reminded why we love what we do!